Teardrops
by THE Evil Dictator
Summary: Kiba disappears on a mission. Can Hinata cope?   Songfic- What Hurts The Most Originally a one-shot.The summary kind of sucks, I know, but I'll think up a better summary... someday.  KINDA ON HIATUS
1. Misery

**What Hurts The Most**

**Song written by Jeffrey Steele and Steve Robson (Yes, songs aren't always written by the artist. Who'd have known)**

**Sung by Rascal Flatts (or Cascada)**

**I don't own anything, unfortunately.**

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

I hear the melancholy pitter-patter of the rain as it hits the roof. It's pouring again, for the second time today. I get up off the floor where I've been laying and stare out my bedroom window. Outside, I can see the wind pummeling the trees outside. It's the middle of the afternoon, but it's been nothing but clouds all day. Though I'm in the warmth of my bedroom, I feel as if I'm outside, huddled in the unforgiving rain. But If I'm inside, than why am I feeling the icy cold drops on my skin? Without warning, I burst into tears.

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out_

_That don't bother me_

I drop onto my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I'm glad not many people are around the Hyuuga household today. I imagine what father would say if he saw me like this. When I was little he would slap me if I cried. "Toughen up, Hinata," he would say. If Neji had seen that, back in the day, he would have smirked, uncaring. I wonder what Neji would do nowadays. Probably stand there, not sure what to do. Maybe father would ignore me too, leaving me to my misery. I wouldn't care either way.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me_

I curl up in a little ball on the ground. It's been almost two months since Kiba disappeared on a mission. Maybe if I'd been there He would be sitting here with me, complaining about the rain or how annoying Shino has been lately. Images of him bounce around in my head, making me cry harder. I drag my fingernails down the bare skin of my arm. Pain races up my arm satisfyingly. I'm alive.

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

I imagine him sliding his sharp fingernails over my body. It comforts me. He was never the gentle type; there were several times I ended up with scratches on my body. Sometimes he would apologize. Most of the time he just pretended nothing ever happened. Just another fuck. I never told him I loved him. I wonder if he cared about me at all.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_Never knowing_

_What could have been_

He was always so cocky. Getting into fights every which way. Whenever someone picked on me, it seemed like he didn't even notice. He never got into a fight involving me. We were friends, but sometimes I felt like he only wanted me on the team as a tool. Nothing more. But then… I don't quite know how it happened. Everything fell into its own fucked up place. I was was always left wallowing in the muck of my own guilt. If father found out he would be angry, and someone was bound to notice the scratches on my body. I feared sooner or later they would find out. Father would hit me. He'd brand me as a whore. And you know what? He wouldn't be too far off the mark.

_Not seeing by loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

And now he's missing and I'm left like this, pathetically sobbing on the floor. I've been sick and depressed ever since he left. I get dizzy sometimes, and I've passed out once. I've also been throwing up a lot. He's even made me overeat and now I'm getting fat. Everything about my body is out-of-whack. It's all his fault. Without even doing anything, he ripped me to pieces. I wonder if I hate him for what he's done to me.

**I'm not sure where this idea came from… (Honestly, it creeps me out a little) But the plot bunny hit when I was **_**supposed**_** to be writing an essay. Sometimes I question what goes on in my mind… **

**Anyway, this is the first story I've put up here, so constructive criticism would be appreciated. (I know Hinata was a bit OOC. Blame it on the plot bunny.) No flames (this includes rude comments about the song) or my evil twin sister will eat your brains. (Yes, I have a twin sister. I'm just that awesome.)**

**I'm seriously considering making this into a longer story, so please leave a review giving your advice. Just press the button… if you don't, my twin sister is still hungry… :D**

**Seriously, if you review I will refrain from all bad jokes in the future. Okay?**


	2. Tiger's eye

"Hinata." I open my eyes to my bedroom ceiling. "Hinata, Father says you have to get up." I turn my head. Hanabi is standing in the doorway. I try to sit up, but feel dizzy. "Are you okay?" Hanabi asks. "Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "Good, 'cos it's almost your eighteenth birthday and we don't want you to get sick," Hanabi says cheerfully. It's almost my birthday? I nod slowly. "Anyway, l there's some friends of yours downstairs," she continues. "Oh," I say. I stand up unsteadily. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Hanabi asks. "Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "You haven't been feeling well since that guy went missing," Hanabi comments. "I guess I'm just worried. He was a good friend of mine, after all," I fib. "Don't worry. He's probably fine," Hanabi says. I catch a hint of suspicion in her eyes. I smile weakly. "You're probably right," I say. I begin to search for a hairbrush. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hanabi leave. She was always so intelligent, so perceptive. She couldn't have found out, right? I give up my search for a hairbrush. No one will notice. Throwing on a jacket, I walk out of my bedroom.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doing it_

I remember when Shino and Naruto came back without him. There'd been some suspicious activity near the border and Tsunade had assigned Me, Shino and Kiba to check it out. But I fell sick a while before we were supposed to leave, and Tsunade had Naruto go in my place. But they were ambushed. Neither of them knows what happened. They got knocked out. When they woke up… he was gone. I had to wait one fucking week to find that out. Tsunade had wanted to keep it a secret until they got more information on the incident. Eventually Naruto caved, of course. He told me what he knew. He didn't say it, but his eyes knew it was my fault. If I was stronger, I wouldn't have gotten sick. And maybe I could have protected him. But I couldn't.

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

Sakura, Ino and Tenten are standing outside. "Hey Hinata!" Ino says, waving. "Hi," I say. Tenten, obviously having been forced to come, mouths "Help me". I giggle. It's a fake laugh, I haven't giggled for real in a long time. I walk up to them. "What are you guys doing here?" I ask. "Well, since it's almost your birthday Ino suggested that all of us girls go shopping," Sakura explained. "Oh," I said. "Okay." "Yay! Come on, let's go," Ino says. She turns around and skips off. I don't get what she's so excited about. I force myself to follow her. As we walk through town, Ino jabbers her head off. She isn't usually this talkative. Maybe she's trying to cheer me up. I don't care. I see Shino pass by. He meets my eyes for a moment, then walks by. It's like he's been avoiding me ever since Kiba disappeared. Maybe he feels guilty. He was with Kiba on the mission, after all. It doesn't matter anyway.

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken  
_  
His voice resonates in my head. All those years together. I feel as if they will go away if Kiba's dead. I can't let that happen. Ever since he left I've been so out of it. I don't even know what I'm talking about right now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like everything is falling apart around me and I can't stand the fact that I can't do anything about it. There are some situations in life where there is no way out, and you just have to wait for it to pass. But I'm not sure I'm strong enough to survive this. But I'm just babbling.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

"So, I heard there was this new jewelry store in town," Ino says. "Wanna go check it out?" Sakura nods enthusiastically. "Sure." "It's a few blocks away from here," Ino says. She begins walking in the direction I presume the jewelry store is. I realize something's missing. "Where's Tenten?" I ask. Sakura sighs. "She escaped." "Oh…" I say. "Hey, are you guys coming?" Ino shouts. "The shop is just behind the corner!" Sighing, Sakura and I make our way towards Ino.

_And never knowing_

_What could've been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

"Ooh, look at that!" says Ino. We're in the jewelry store. We've been here for about ten minutes, and Ino's done nothing but run around and squeal like a little girl. I guess shopping does that to her. I suppose all the jewelry is pretty. Maybe I'll buy something. But I really don't have much money on me, and I wouldn't wear it anyway. "Hey, Hinata, look at this!" Ino points at a necklace lying on the table. I walk over to where she's standing. "Isn't cute?" Ino asks. The necklace was simple, just a pendant on a gold chain. The pendant is made of Tiger's eye. The pendant… It's shaped like a dog. "I'm not feeling too well. I think I need to step outside for a moment," I say. I turn around and walk out the door a fast as I can without it looking unnatural.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close _

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

Sakura follows me out. "Hinata, are you okay?" Sakura asks. "Yeah," I say. "I'm just feeling a little dizzy," I say. "Do you want to sit down?" she asks. "No, I'm fine," I say. "Are you sure?" Sakura asks. "Yeah, It happens all the time," I say. "Really?" Sakura asks. "Maybe you should go see Tsunade about it." I shake my head. "I'm fine," I say. "Are you sure?" Sakura asks. I shrug. "I'll be fine," I say. Sakura looks slightly worried, but gives up. We stand there in silence for a moment."Um, Hinata…" Sakura begins. "What?" I ask. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" Sakura's face blurs out of focus. Disoriented, I fall to the ground. "Hinata? Are you okay?" Sakura's voice seems distant, I can hardly hear it. I feel my eyes closing slowly, and a small, silly part of me wonders if I'm dying. But who cares, anyway?

_And never knowing_

_What could've been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do _

_Not seeing by loving you_

_That's what I was trying to do_

**So, I've decided to continue this fic. I don't really like this one as much as the first chapter, so it'd be nice to hear what you think. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited , it really means a lot to me.**


	3. Questions

**The rest of the story probably will be like this one unless I can find any songs that fit the storyline. If you have any ideas, feel free to make suggestions.**

**I don't own anything.**

**Warning: This chapter includes references to abortion. **

The smell. That hospital smell, cold and impersonal. It smells like insulin, mixed in with something else that I can't quite put my finger on.

I open my eyes. It takes a second for everything to come into focus. I'm staring at the plain white ceiling of the hospital. There are a lot of white ceiling in the world, but I only hate this one. It's cold, impersonal. And perfect. That's what I hate the most.

"So you're awake."I turn my head. Tsunade is sitting at a desk filling out some kind of form. "Yeah," I croak. My head hurts.

"I have some questions I'd like to ask you," Tsunade says, spinning around in her chair. I sit up slowly, wincing. I feel sore all over. What happened back there, anyway? "I passed out, didn't I?" I ask. "Yes," Tsunade says. "Has this happened before?" I nod. "Only once," I say. Tsunade scribbles something down on a clipboard. "When?" she asks, crossing her legs. "A couple weeks ago. I had just gotten out of bed and I felt really dizzy suddenly," I say. I squirm. The hospital bed is uncomfortable. I can feel the metal springs underneath the mattress.

"And then you passed out?" Tsunade asks. I nod. "How have you been feeling lately?" Tsunade asks. She meets my eyes, daring me to lie with her icy gaze. I squirm. "Not to good, to be honest," I say. "Have you been feeling nauseous?" I nod. "I've been throwing up a lot," I say. Tsunade nods and writes something down. "Have you experienced moods swings? Tiredness?" I nod. "Yeah, a bit," I mumble. "Anything else?" I blush. "No, not really?" "Have your breasts been feeling sore?" I feel my face heating up. I nod. "W-why?"

"Hinata, when is the last time you had your period?" Tsunade uncrosses her legs. "Um, A couple months ago. They've always been a bit irregular, so I wasn't surprised when I missed my last one," I babble. I look away from her, instead concentrating on the patternless blankets. I hear Tsunade's footsteps coming toward me. Tsunade puts her hand on my shoulder. I look up, surprised. "Hinata, do you any idea where I'm going with this?" I shake my head. "No, not really," I mumble. Tsunade sighs.

"God… Hinata, who did you have sex with?" My eyes widen. "Wh-what are you talking about?" "Is your father aware of this?" As my eyes widen, Tsunade's narrow. "I never had sex with anybody," I say. "Hinata, you're displaying all the symptoms of pregnancy. Now tell me the truth, or I'll contact your dad and tell him about our little situation." Tsunade walks back to her chair and sits down. "Who?" she asks. I feel her gaze pressing down on me. I take a deep breath. "Kiba Inuzuka," I say. Tsunade nods. "When was the last time you two had intercourse?" I can't help but blush. "Not long before he left," I mumble.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Tsunade asks. I look up. "What?" I ask. "Are you going to give it away? Or are you going to keep it? Or…" Tsunade trails off. I shake my head. "I don't know." "Well, you need to decide sometime. Putting it off definitely won't help." She looks tired. Tsunade looks so young for someone her age, but it seems like she's aged twenty years. Maybe that's an exaggeration. I don't know.

"You're going to need to tell Hiashi about this," Tsunade says. Her eyes are filled with worry. Inside, I'm screaming "No!" But I put on a brave face. There's really no way around it. He's going to find out, no matter what I do. I don't want to admit it, but I'm afraid. The feeling of fear, like a rock in my stomach. I hate that feeling.

"You know about the other way, right?" This time it's Tsunade that looks down. I curl up into a fetal position. "I don't know, Okay?" I say, a little more forcefully than I intended. I feel tears coming, but I do my best to suppress them. For a moment, there's silence in the room. I feel it close in on me, targeting me. Its weight crushes me.

"Are you worried he'll hurt you if you tell him," Tsunade says finally, scaring away the silence. She says it all deadpan, a statement, not a question. In a way, that's worse than silence. I don't say anything for a moment. "What do you think?" I ask, biting my lip. Another pause. "Look," she says, putting her fist down on the table. "You're one of my best Chunin, and you'll be a strong Jonin soon. I really don't know what to do right now, and you're the one who needs to be making these decisions, not me. You can abort it, and it's like it never happened. You can move on with your life. Or you can tell Hiashi and make the best of it. I won't let him hurt you, I promise." Her eyes sear into mine, burning me. The fear comes, even stronger this time. I wonder if it's me that's afraid. "I don't know," I whimper. Tsunade closes her eyes, perhaps to calm herself. Then she opens them again. "Come back in two days," she says. "You need to have made your decision by then." I bite my lip. "Okay," I say. Tsunade takes a deep breath. "Okay. I'll see you in a few days."

Tsunade stands up. "I need to get back to work," Tsunade says. "Goodbye, Hinata." I watch Tsunade leave. I should probably get out of here too. I can almost see myself right now, a pathetic mess of a Chunin sitting here on this hospital bed. I wish Kiba was here right now. He wouldn't be any help, of course. I just really need him to be sitting here next to me, obnoxiously complaining about Naruto or whoever his new annoyance is. Like it's always been since we were kids. I feel a tear run down my cheek. Damn it. I rub my eyes. Now he might be dead.

And now, maybe the only thing that's left of him is this… _thing_ growing inside of me. The thing I don't even want. The only thing he ever gave me. The thing my father might kill me for having. I don't want it. I might as well kill it. Tears are running down my face, but I don't try to stop them. This tiny little human, taking everything I've ever wanted. And the worst part is, I know it's entirely my fault. I find myself in a fetal position once again. That thing is ruining my life, even if it is my fault. And somehow, I feel like I need to protect this thing.

Wiping away my tears, I stand up. I need to go back. Back to the place that's supposed to be my home. Tears spring to my eyes again, but I brush them away. I take a shaky breath, and walk towards the door of the hospital room. I still don't know what my choice is, but somehow I feel like I've already made it. I feel almost refreshed. I always feel that way after I cry. I don't know how to describe it. It's like the way the air feels after a rainstorm in the spring. But now, I almost wish spring wouldn't come.

**I don't really like this ending that much, but I really didn't know what else to write. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited, I know I said this last chapter, so just consider yourself thanked twice. I hope this chapter didn't suck as majorly as I think it did (I know Tsunade was a little OOC, please do not kill me.)**

**I hope no one hates me for making Hinata consider abortion, but abortion is a choice that all teen parents have to think about and it wouldn't be very honest if I just avoided it. **

**Due to NaNoWriMo, I won't be updating until the month is over (I actually finished this chapter before NaNoWriMo, but I was too lazy to put it up. By the time the guilt monkeys decided to show up, I was in Connecticut. But now I'm back.) I've actually got the fourth chapter typed up, but I kind of just threw it up, and we all know vomit isn't very attractive. When the month is over I'll work on making it less nauseating, but until then this is all you get. **

**I know not many people know what insulin smells like (consider yourself lucky), but I don't know how else to compare the hospital smell with. So if you don't know what insulin smells like, just think of hospitals.**


	4. Answers

**I don't own Naruto or any of its characters, just this hideously overused plotline.**

It's only now that the message really starts to sink in. I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby in six months. This is really fucked up. That's what I'm thinking as I'm walking home.

Kurenai walks by, her little girl in her arms. How old is the girl? One? Two? One or two. It doesn't matter.

I remember when Asuma died. Kurenai was so devastated. She was left all alone, soon to be a mother. Like me. I watch her walk by. She doesn't even appear to notice me. Which is fine. I kind of like being invisible.

It's funny; I was never invisible to Kiba. He would always know when I when I was there, even if I was hiding. He probably just picked up on my scent though. It doesn't mean anything.

Kurenai stops in her tracks. I can see the look of surprise on her face. Then she holds out her hand. Why? It's snowing, I realize.

It doesn't snow much in Konoha, and when it does it never lasts. I suppose I should have been happy about the first snow. Hanabi and I used to run outside and play around whenever it snowed outside. But not now.

Things have changed. I begin walking. I never thought things would end up this way. I suppose, with things so fragile, everything was going to fall apart eventually.

I look down. There's something comforting about watching yourself walk. I don't know why. I shiver. It's getting pretty cold outside, and I'm only wearing a light jacket. I stuff my hands in my pockets. It's not really that cold out, I can deal with it.

Soon enough I'm standing outside my home. I stare down the familiar building. I'm glad to be home, but at the same time I wish I wasn't. I have nowhere to run, and that knowledge is what keeps me loyal to my family. I wish things would go back to the way they were. It's a futile wish, I know. Part of me wishes I'd never met Kiba. I wouldn't be so totally screwed if I had never met that jerk. But there's really no use in thinking about what could have been.

I hear a soft sigh. For a second I nearly fool myself into thinking it's the wind. But the sigh is one I've heard many times before. Hanabi's sitting outside. Her bare feet are dangling off the side of the porch. She isn't facing me, luckily. I can probably get inside without her noticing. I walk towards the door a quietly as I can. Maybe if she's lost in thought enough I can get through. I step up onto the porch. The floorboards creak under my weight. Hanabi's head turns in the direction of the sound. Shit.

"Hinata!" Hanabi says. Damn it. I freeze in my tracks. "Oh, hi!" I say. "It's snowing," Hanabi comments. She looks up towards the sky. "Yeah," I say. "So, did you buy anything?" she asks. "No, but I'm thinking of buying something," I say. She nods. I begin to walk away.

"What's wrong?" Hanabi asks. Once again, I freeze. "What're you talking about?" I ask, turning around. "It's a fairly straightforward question," Hanabi says. Her eyes narrow. "I'm fine," I say, trying to smile. Trying. Hanabi regards me coolly. "Don't lie to me," she says quietly. "I'm not," I say, just as softly.

This is what we do when we get into an argument and want to avoid yelling. We keep our voices down, trying to keep our emotions in check. We say what we think in a way that doesn't invite fighting. It kind of works, sometimes.

Hanabi takes a deep breath. "I'm twelve, not two," she says. Her voice is a near whisper. I bite my lip. "I know," I say, swallowing nervously. Hanabi fixes me with an icy glare. It feels like the wind to me, chilling me to the bone and knocking me off my feet. "If that's the way it's going to be, fine. You don't have to tell me," anger seeps into her voice, breaking her cool demeanor. I take a deep breath. "I told you this morning, I'm just a little worried." I choose my words carefully. "It's nothing more than that." Hanabi stands up. She stands there for a few moments, glaring at the dirt as if it has wronged her.

"If it's nothing more than that, then why…" Hanabi trails off. "What?" I ask. She slowly turns her head upwards until she is looking directly over my shoulder. "Then why…"I can see her struggling with herself. She's resisting the urge to look down. When she speaks, her speech sounds unnatural, she is forcing the words out of her mouth. "don't you care… about me…" She squirms, then finally gives in to the urge to look down. Her last word is a total whisper. "…anymore?"

Her words catch me off guard. "Hanabi…" I say. She doesn't look at me. Her mouth hangs slightly ajar, still tasting the words she was afraid to say. "Come with me." I hold out my hand. Hanabi looks up slowly, still avoiding my face. She stares at my hand. "Why?" she asks, but she takes my hand anyway. I run inside, dragging Hanabi along. She shakes it off once we get to my room. She shoots me what might have been a glare originally, but there's no fire in her eyes. Hanabi sits down on my bed. She looks at me, in the eye this time. I slide the door shut behind me. "What's going on?" Hanabi asks after I don't say anything. I take a deep breath.

"Hanabi… I'm kind of pregnant," I say. Hanabi looks shocked, but doesn't say anything. After a couple of seconds, she opens her mouth. "Liar." I walk over to her. I look her straight in the eye. "Hanabi, do you think I have any reason to lie to you about this?" She looks at me, unconvinced. I sigh irritably and continue. "Besides, who's been barfing nonstop for the past two months. Look at the facts, Hanabi!." I sit down next to her on the bed. Hanabi looks down. "Who…?" she asks, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. "Kiba," I say, looking away from her. As I say it. Her face is guarded, but I see through it. She nods. We sit in silence for a couple seconds.

"What about father?" I pause. "I don't know," I say. I stare at my shoes as if they were something very interesting. "You're going to have to tell him," Hanabi says quietly. She looks up a bit, almost looking me in the eye. But not quite. "I know," I say. Silence. I stand up before the silence can get me. "Tsunade says she'll make sure I don't get hurt, so I guess she'll probably be there when I tell him," I say. "So Tsunade knows?" Hanabi asks. She looks up, looking me straight in the face now. I nod. Her eyes seem confused, and a little scared."It'll be alright, Hanabi," I say. Trying to comfort her. Mostly trying to comfort myself. Hanabi stands up. "I'll see you around," she says. "Yeah," I say. She walks towards the door slowly. To me it seems like slow motion. She slides open the door. Then she walks away, closing the door behind her. I wait for her footsteps to fade.

Then I collapse onto the bed. I feel tears in my eyes and I'm not even sure why. I feel like a train that's been thrown off its tracks. How could I lose control of my life so fast? Ever since Kiba left I've been a mess, and what's worse is that I don't know whether or not I'll ever get to yell at him for screwing me up like this. I may never speak to him again.

My mind wanders back to the necklace. It feels like so long ago. I close my eyes. They push the tears out onto my face. I feel them trickling down the side, dampening my pillow. I don't really know why I freaked out. The necklace just reminded me of him. Him…

I don't even know if he loves me. A constant flow of questions plagues my mind, buzzing around like bees. They sting. Do I even love him? I don't even know now. All I know is this little thing growing inside me, which I didn't even know about until yesterday. Do I love it? Does it know I'm it's mother? I know it's a silly question. It's so small right now. What will it be like? For me, for it. I really don't know. One question keeps coming back in my mind, pushing and shoving until it's at the front.

Is having this baby really a good idea?

I already knew the answer to that.

No.

**Hi guys! I know I'm bad for updating so soon, since I'm behind in NaNoWriMo (Only 22,000 words so far T.T) Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and favorites. What would I do without you? Well, I'd sit on my ass all day and never get any writing done (Well, I write often enough, but I always abandon the poor story.)**

**Anyway, life has been unfortunate in the sense that it has thrown me into the middle of a soap opera. (Think your life is complicated? Think again.) I don't want to talk about it right now, and you don't care anyway… Things are calming down now. (Let's see how long that last, shall we?) I miss being a kid.**

**I know the chapters are short, but they're getting longer slowly but surely. I think I cleaned this chapter up pretty good, but I'm not sure. I've realized some of my past chapters are slightly crappy at parts, but I'll get around to fixing them… someday. Hopefully this year.**

**Please review, it'll make me happy and less likely to jump off a building (I'm not suicidal, but since my life has turned into a soap opera, I wouldn't rule out that kind of plot twist) and if I do that Hinata will be stuck crying in her bed forever.**


	5. Insanity

**Sorry if it's bad, I didn't quatruple-check it before I put it up. And I don't own Naruto.**

His eyes, doglike slits. They burned my skin with their gaze. I felt fear stab at my stomach, but I brushed it off. If I pretended it wasn't there, maybe it would go away. But it lingered. I backed up against the wall. He moved in closer, cutting off all escape routes with his strong arms. I could feel his breath on my skin, his hands moving up my sides. I let him kiss me. I gave in to the sin. Maybe it was because I knew I couldn't stop him. Maybe I wanted it too. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. I don't even clearly remember what happened after that. I can't really describe what I remember, anyway.

And that was what started it all. Honestly, I don't know what either of us were thinking that night. I don't think he knew either. I didn't think it would happen again. But it did. Again and again. And now I'm here.

The clock on my bedside table tells me the time. 1:04 P.M. I close my eyes, and then open them again, abruptly.

I cold breeze blows in through my window –it's open, I realize –causing me to shiver. I place my left hand on the windowsill and peer out. I suppose I'm lucky, in my own messed up way. I could be dead. So many things that are worse than this could have happened to me. I could be like Kiba –missing.

I tear my eyes away from the night and stand up, driven by an impulse decision. My shoes lie discarded on the floor. I hadn't taken them off when I came outside. I stare at them for a moment. I've had them for a while now. But they're hardly scuffed. If only humans could be like that. I push those thoughts from my head. _They're just shoes_, I think. I quickly slide them on. But I can't chase the thoughts from my head. _All I ever do is hurt people. I was never able to do anything for Kiba and I can't even think good of him. _I can't stop the thoughts from coming, not matter how hard I try. _You're worthless_, I tell myself. All my life, I've always been a burden to others. I was never the strong one, and I was never particularly smart. And I was never brave.

I place my hand on the windowsill once again. I know I'll never be able to escape. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Even if I did run away, my eyes would be a dead giveaway. I place my other hand on the opposite side of the window to balance myself. And then I put one leg on the windowsill and swing the other one over. Even though my feet are only a couple feet from the ground, the jump looks slightly ominous. I jump down, landing on my feet. I wince as the sound, though soft, graces the night with its unwanted presence.

Before me lays the Hyuuga Compound. Where I've lived for all of my life, and always will. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a presence. I whip my head around. Standing about fifty feet away from me, staring up at the stars. Neji. I never expected anyone to be up this late. A feeling of panic creeps up on me. He's knows up here, I can tell.

That's when I start running. I know that he'll notice me. But somehow, I don't care. It doesn't matter anyway. He probably doesn't care anyway, and I'm already screwed. So who cares. I sprint out of the compound, freezing air whipping at my sides. It was stupid of me not to wear a jacket. But I don't stop. I'm driven forward by this crazy feeling, that I have to run. My hair blows out behind me, and I imagine that it looks like a big, dark snake. Every part of me is freezing. My ears feel as if they are on the verge of frostbite, and every time I open my mouth to gulp in air my teeth feel as if they're about to fall off from cold. My clothing does little good to protect me from the cold. I stub my toe several times, but I don't stop. I think one I them is bleeding. I wonder for a moment if this is what insanity feels like.

Eventually I stop, overcome by the pain in my sides. I look around. An old homeless man is sleeping, using a moldy old cardboard box as his cushion. A couple of drunks stumble around, mumbling. I know it's not safe to be out like this in the middle of the night. _Well, that was stupid_, I think.

I quickly duck into the nearest store, which luckily still has its lights on. The store's a jewelry store, I quickly realize. The jewelry store. Looking around the shop, I see a woman sleeping at the register. She snores softly. Upon closer inspection, I see that she is about my age, probably younger. She has dark brown hair and something about her reminds me of Hanabi. The girl looks so innocent in her sleep.

It's a pleasant little shop, with loads of valuable items. I'm surprised they don't have tighter security. There's a pretty jade ring, a nice pair of silver earrings, and many more. . I walk quietly around the shop, lazily inspecting the jewelry. Finally, I come to the table where the necklace was. My eyes skim the various necklaces and bracelets scattered around the table.

It isn't there.

**Sorry, the chapter's a little later than it usually is. Unfortunately, I'm lazy, my computer got a mean virus so I didn't have it for a week, and sadly, I have a life. Luckily it doesn't suck as much as Hinata's… **

**I wrote this on the 17 but I was too lazy to put it up until now… Sorry. **

**Anyway, I'm going to go back and touch up the past chapters… soon. I don't get why I'm getting so many reviews/favs… I'm not that good, am I? Anyway, it would be nice if anyone has any constructive criticisms, 'cause I want to improve my writing skills… **

**Well, Merry Christmas! Unless you don't celebrate Christmas. Then have a Happy Hanukah or Kwanza. If you don't celebrate any of those… just enjoy getting other people's religions shoved down your throat.**


	6. Why I haven't been updating

Hi… I'm writing this 'cause I haven't updated in over a month and I thought I should explain… like, a month ago my computer broke. We managed to get the files off, but I haven't bothered to write the next chapter. In other words, I'm just lazy. But I will be updating soon. Hopefully. Anyways, thank you for reading my story and liking it even though the author is a lazy bitch. I'll see you in a couple weeks when I put the next chapter up. See ya!


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